gatsby: haha yeah......................old sport
nick: do you have a signature on your texts?
gatsby: no............................old sport

Sometimes u just gotta be a ho

me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
me driving: say your prayers
He looked at me like I was crazy. Most of my lovers do, and that’s partly why they love me, and partly why they leave. —Jeanette Winterson  (via budddha)

claphne:

child

why u scream

teamrocketing:

how do you get a stranger in public to fall in love with you

stfulily:

getting a boyfriend looks easier in movies

codes by
pohroro